To Spank or Not to Spank. That’s the Real Question.
Were you ever been spanked? Did you deserve to be spanked?
“I have good kids, I love my kids. I try to bring them up the right way, not spanking them. I find that I don’t have to spank them. I find that waving the gun around pretty much gets the same job done!”
— Denis Leary
Generation by generation, spankings are becoming quickly unfashionable. Society’s disdain towards parents who discipline their children in traditional ways is increasing. Many parents now rank being their child’s best friend, as a top priority, a dynamic that undermines the authority required to enforce rules. Without a clear boundary between parent and friend, today’s parents often struggle to impose an effective form of discipline.
Parents raising not one, not two, but four boys, need a tool to help maintain order. In the 70s there were no Xbox, internet, or cable TV with hundreds of channels to choose from to keep me and my brothers occupied; we had to find a way to use the energy we had pent up inside. This meant my stressed-out, stay at home mother had to find a reliable method of keeping everyone in line.
In our family, the threat of a spanking served that purpose. Threats alone are meaningless until backed by action. It wasn’t until we experienced the “wrath of the belt” firsthand that the threat became a real deterrent, shaping our behavior moving forward.
The responsibility for discipline fell on our father, who carried out the spankings. His authority loomed large, and the simple warning from our mother, “Wait until your father gets home,” was enough to strike fear into us. On rare occasions when immediate action was necessary, our mother had her own weapon of choice—the wooden spoon. But even that was rarely needed, as her words alone were usually enough to restore order.
CAN SPANKINGS ESCALATE INTO CHILD ABUSE
According to Elizabeth T. Gershoff, PhD, of the National Center for Children in Poverty at Columbia University, “fifty percent of the parents of toddlers and sixty to sixty-eight percent of the parents of preschoolers in the United States use corporal punishment as a regular method of disciplining their children. By the time American children reach middle and high school, eighty-five percent have been physically punished by their parents.”
This widespread use of corporal punishment reflects its perceived effectiveness, a point Gershoff examines in her research published in the July 2002 issue of Psychological Bulletin. Drawing on sixty-two years of data, she acknowledges that “corporal punishment is effective in getting children to comply immediately.” However, she also raises concerns, cautioning that “corporal punishment by its nature can escalate into physical maltreatment.”
While Gershoff’s findings illuminate broad societal trends, they leave room for the complexities of individual family dynamics. In my own experience, spanking was not a routine practice but a last-resort method of discipline. My parents approached it with calm deliberation, never out of anger. Later discussions revealed that they carefully considered each instance, ensuring we understood the reasons behind their actions.
My parents explained the punishment both before and after it occurred, framing spanking as a teaching tool rather than an emotional reaction. That said, not every situation warranted such formality—on one occasion, I received a quick “smack” on the hand for touching something I shouldn’t in a store. This moment stood apart from the structured discipline associated with spanking, highlighting the varied contexts in which physical correction might occur.
Yet dissenting voices like Diana Baumrind, PhD, challenge this perspective. Baumrind contends that “The evidence presented in the meta-analysis does not justify a blanket injunction against mild to moderate disciplinary spanking,” emphasising that context and method matter greatly in assessing its use.
“Parents are not bestowed with angels to cherish, but unripe fools to correct” (Proverbs 22: 15)”
— Royal Raj S
SMARTPHONES AND SOCIAL MEDIA AND SPANKING
The relationship between disciplinary methods and mental health outcomes presents a multifaceted challenge. Gen Z, raised in an era increasingly skeptical of physical discipline, exhibits notably higher rates of mental health diagnoses compared to previous generations. Nearly twenty percent have received anxiety disorder diagnoses, while twenty-five percent struggle with depression. In contrast, the Boomer generation, raised when spanking was widely accepted, reports significantly lower rates—seven percent for anxiety and twelve percent for depression. Multiple factors contribute to these generational differences, making it difficult to draw definitive conclusions about the role of discipline in shaping mental health outcomes.
Adding to this complexity, a 2023 multi-year study revealed that nearly two-thirds of Gen Zers experienced at least one mental health problem in the previous two years. This rate progressively decreases across generations: Millennials at fifty-one percent, Gen Xers at twenty-nine percent, and Boomers at fourteen percent. These statistics parallel the declining prevalence of physical discipline, but the correlation between the two trends stops short of proving causation. Other influences, such as evolving societal norms, economic pressures, and the impact of technology, also play critical roles in shaping these outcomes.
Underlying these generational shifts is the evolution of parenting advice, which mirrors broader changes in societal attitudes toward discipline. In the early to mid-twentieth century, respected experts often endorsed structured approaches that included corporal punishment. Dr. Benjamin Spock’s Baby and Child Care (1928) initially supported spanking as a last-resort method, though he later revised his stance to promote positive discipline strategies. Similarly, psychologist Dr. Sidney M. Jourard’s The Family and the Child (1942) emphasized spanking’s role in establishing parental authority. Dr. L. Emmett Holt’s influential The Care and Feeding of Children (1951) advocated for sparing but necessary use of corporal punishment to address serious misbehavior.
By the 1960s, however, this consensus began to fragment as advances in psychological research encouraged a shift away from physical discipline. This change coincided with broader societal transformations, including the emergence of technology and, later, social media—factors that have profoundly shaped the mental health of modern youth.
Researchers like Dr. Elizabeth Gershoff caution against corporal punishment's potential risks, others, including Diana Baumrind and colleagues, maintain that evidence doesn't justify prohibiting “mild to moderate disciplinary spanking.” The challenge lies in understanding how various factors—parenting styles, technological engagement, and societal shifts—collectively shape adolescent mental well-being.
WHAT IS SPANKING?
A spanking, in its most basic form, involves physical contact with a child’s buttocks—typically administered with an open hand, though some parents use implements like belts or paddles. Yet this physical definition only begins to address the complexities of disciplinary spanking. Beyond the act itself lies an intellectual framework aimed not merely at punishment but at discouraging undesirable behavior through the establishment of clear consequences.
This emphasis on cause and effect underscores the importance of a child’s cognitive development in determining the effectiveness of spanking. As children grow and their reasoning abilities mature, parents must adapt their disciplinary approaches accordingly. Gradually transitioning to other methods reflects both the child’s evolving understanding and the parental responsibility to foster that growth.
The shift from physical discipline to alternative methods underscores an important distinction: spanking, when used effectively, is not synonymous with abuse. To ensure it remains constructive, effective spanking demands careful consideration and should be reserved for cases of willful defiance or persistent disobedience—not age-appropriate mistakes or accidents. Parents must approach this method with measured restraint, avoiding impulsive or harsh actions while maintaining emotional control and clear communication.
This balanced perspective challenges the contemporary narrative that equates all physical discipline with abuse. Some parents contend that the complete absence of consistent discipline—whether physical or otherwise—risks neglecting a child’s need for clear boundaries and an understanding of consequences. When applied judiciously, spanking becomes one tool among many for teaching responsibility and guiding behavior.
“No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on however, it yields the fruit of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it”
(Hebrews 12:11, HCSB).
IN A NUTSHELL . . .
Ask a hundred people what a spanking is, and you shall receive a hundred answers, each as varied as the philosophies they spring from. Some will regard it as an essential pillar of discipline, others as a relic of barbarity, and still others will hesitate, dwelling in the ambiguous space between. Such diversity of opinion reflects not merely the multiplicity of human experience but the absence of a definitive answer—an absence that lies at the heart of the controversy.
This lack of unanimity is not confined to any particular epoch, class, or creed; it transcends the generational divides and socioeconomic barriers that often fragment our discourse. Indeed, the debate over corporal punishment endures because it strikes at the essence of parenting itself—how best to guide the young toward maturity, how to temper compassion with authority, and how to reckon with the inevitable failings of human judgment.
Yet herein lies the paradox: in a matter so fundamental, society offers no singular guidance. The parent is left to navigate this moral terrain with little more than intuition, tradition, and the competing voices of experts. What one calls discipline, another brands abuse. What one sees as love, another condemns as harm.
Perhaps, then, the true question is not what a spanking is but what it does. Does it teach, as its advocates claim, or merely punish, as its critics assert? In answering this, we may finally glimpse not merely the measure of the act but the measure of ourselves.
2024© ElbyJames CC BY-SA
