How to find Happiness in a Depressing, Overbearing, & Anxiety Riddled World
Most of us believe if we tick a series of boxes (great job, fancy car, etc.,) we will find success and live happily every after. But happiness isn’t a destination, happiness is in the journey.
IN TODAY’S WORLD, IF THERE is one thing lacking, it is happiness. It has been nearly two years of the COVID pandemic punctuated with state-mandated lockdowns, the Russo-Ukrainian conflict raging in Europe affecting all the world’s markets, and the inflation-induced skyrocketing prices of food and fuel, leisure and travel, and taxes and the cost of living in general.
Do not think for a moment that it is only third-world nations in which happiness is lacking. First world nations such as those of the European Union, the United Kingdom, and yes the United States are facing shortages of happiness. Happiness will be in high-demand and in short supply for a long while seeing how it is predicted the US will face a recession in 2023. On top of this, who knows how long the conflict in Europe will last.
As we grow and develop, we are taught happiness is something we should obtain. We are told marriage and family, money and success, fame and fortune will bring us happiness—whether directly or indirectly. But it is an illusion, it is an illusion that external events or circumstances like wealth or marriage will bring us happiness. When we count on these “external events” and “circumstances” we no longer have agency over our own happiness, we depend on superficial material goods for our well being.
Would not the sense of security from wealth bring you happiness?
Would not the ownership of a Lamborghini—or a Porsche or a Ferrari or a Bugatti, you pick your luxury auto—bring you happiness?
Would not a healthy and happy family bring you happiness?
SO, WHAT IS HAPPINESS? For researchers, happiness breaks down into two categories: hedonic—Greek for ‘pleasure’—and eudaimonic—Greek for eu (good) and daimon (spirit). Hedonic refers to pleasure and the concept that the more pleasure we have, the happier we are.
The idea of hedonic happiness can be attributed to the fourth century B.C., Greek philosopher, Aristippus. He taught that the ultimate goal in life should be to maximize pleasure. Aristippus is not the only philosopher to have adhered to this hedonic viewpoint; philosophers such as Thomas Hobbes, JS Mills, and Jeremy Bentham clung to this viewpoint.
The psychologists who study the hedonic perspective of happiness form a general notion of what hedonia is in terms of pleasures of both the mind and body. If we take into consideration the psychologist's observations then, maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain is the end goal of happiness.
Hedonia, in short, is about:
pleasure, enjoyment, and satisfaction;
and the absence of distress.
Unlike hedonia, eudaimonic is a broader idea of happiness, It is the notion that happiness is experienced through social connections or the meaningful pursuit of goals or activities. Like hedonia, the concept of eudaimonia dates back to the fourth century B.C., when Aristotle first proposed it in his work, Nicomachean Ethics. According to Aristotle, happiness is not something that can be gained or lost in a few hours, like pleasurable sensations. It is more like the ultimate value of your life as lived up to this moment, measuring how well you have lived up to your full potential as a human being.
Eudaimonia is more complex in its nature, it is about:
authenticity:
clarifying one’s true self and deep values, staying connected with them, and acting in accord with them;
meaning: understanding a bigger picture, relating to it, and contributing to it. This may include broader aspects of one's life or identity, a purpose, the long term, the community, society, even the entire ecosystem;
excellence: striving for higher quality and higher standards in one’s behavior, performance, accomplishments, and ethics;
personal growth: self-actualization, fulfilling one’s potential and pursuing personal goals; growth, seeking challenges; and maturing as a human being.
A number of philosophers aligned themselves with the eudaimonic perspective, including Plato, Marcus Aurelius, and Immanuel Kant.
Scientists can not agree on the function of happiness. Some scientists believe happiness encourages social bonds that build communities. Happiness allegedly pushes people toward their goals and sparks creativity. For others though, it's unclear if happiness is the result of some random evolutionary mechanism which took millennium upon millennium to develop or is a tangible entity such as a psychological construct.
WHAT HAPPINESS IS NOT. Much of our anxiety and pressure around happiness come from our understanding about what we think happiness is. Happiness is mischaracterized more often than not as the ongoing feelings of joyfulness and excitement. Humans are not designed to stay perpetually excited or joyful. If one is focused on the pursuit of happiness, even if happiness is momentarily achieved, what is one to do when these feelings wax and wane?
Because of the societal misunderstandings of happiness, we unknowingly drive happiness out of our lives, rather than accepting it. Because of society’s misconception of happiness, it becomes hard, if not impossible for us to recognize happiness when we are experiencing it.
I want to debunk three of the most common myths around happiness. It is these truths which will help you to stop the chase and welcome in the joy.
Myth 1: Happiness is not about being perpetually happy.
The truth: Happiness includes both positive and negative emotions.
Myth 2: Success fuels happiness.
Truth: Happiness fuels success; if you focus on living a life that is meaningful to you, fulfillment will follow.
Myth 3: There is one formula for happiness.
Truth: There is no one-size-fits-all for happiness. There is no right or wrong, because only you know what is right for you.
Moving forward, strive to eliminate these myths from your thinking, and replace them with these truths. They will help you to take a breath and to slow down, and to naturally welcome a balanced, fulfilling type of happiness into your life
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HAPPINESS FOR THE SAKE OF HAPPINESS. The concept that the yearning for happiness could lead a person to unhappiness sounds implausible and illogical. But, when expectations of your happiness are held to a level that is realistically too high and those expectations are not met, then, the unmet expectations leads to disappointment. We have basically set ourselves up for failure.
When people become fixated on the quest for happiness with the mindset that it is the natural desired state of humans, they tend to conclude that if they are not happy, then they are broken. These feelings of inadequacy can send a person spiralling down a path to unhappiness, which further fuels the notion of inadequacy. This cycle can be difficult to resolve.
Mental health issues can be had because of unrealistic pursuits of happiness as a goal. A person’s inner critic is fuelled by their perceived failures, which can increase feelings of disappointment. The unrealistic pursuit can also increase feelings of inadequacy and low mood; these are the harbingers for depression.
WHAT SHOULD A PERSON DO THEN? A person should focus on their journey to find happiness. The journey can be a lot more fun than the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in participating in it. If you take the time to really enjoy each step along the way, you’ll spend more time being happy.
Being too focused and fixated on your personal happiness can make you lonely and less happy. But it doesn’t have to be that way—having something to look forward to helps you be happier in the present, which means the journey is never really over.
On the flip side, focusing on happiness as a destination to be found or reached, putting all your hopes on big life events, and aiming for one or two really happy moments rather than a series of little ones, are all things that can make you less happy. It turns out the cliché is true: happiness really is a journey, one to be enjoyed to the fullest.
IF YOU HAVE MADE IT THIS FAR, THEN I MUST HAVE SAID SOMETHING YOU AGREE WITH. PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO TELL ME IN THE COMMENTS WHAT YOU THINK WHETHER IT IS GOOD, BAD, OR INDIFFERENT.