Embracing Non-Judgementalism: The Key to a More Compassionate Society
Discover the benefits of an open-minded approach to interpersonal relationships
Non-judgementalism is a mindset that encourages us to be open-minded and accepting of others, no matter who they are or their beliefs. The casting of our preconceptions, biases, and opinions aside to understand the perspectives of those around us is what being non-judgemental is about.
Being non-judgemental means you are willing to listen without judgment and accept others for who they are. The lack of moral judgments allows us to create a safe and accepting environment where everyone can feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or criticism.
By embracing this mindset, we can foster more meaningful relationships with those around us while creating an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding.
This is easier said than done.
So why do we judge?
Everyone is judgmental; it is in our human nature to judge. People often believe that saying what others want to hear or doing the right thing will protect them from judgment, but subjectivity colors every perception and interpretation of their actions. The ultimate goal is to recognize this reality and still embrace your authentic self, even in the face of judgment.
It’s only life. You will be judged regardless. You must let go and not get too emotional; they’re likely dealing with their insecurities. Don't dwell on it. You will get nowhere in life.
Social judgment theory, developed by Muzafer Sherif and Carl Hovland, proposes that a person's attitude change is the result of judging new information about one's existing attitudes and beliefs. According to this theory, people tend to compare others to their attitudes and use this as a basis for forming judgments.
Our view of society is binary: we are right or wrong. But, in the mind of the non-judgemental person, there is no binary of right or wrong. There’s no hierarchy of worth. Although there is no opposing binary of better than and less than, superior to and inferior to, and the worthy and the unworthy, the urge to be correct, to be better, and to be superior is unique to the human race.
The world is a mirror; its reflection of our judgment of a person doesn’t define who they are but defines who we are.
“External conditions mirror internal conditions, so straightening your room settles internal disorder” affirms authors Charlene Belitz and Meg Lundstrom in The Power of Flow: Practical Ways to Transform Your Life with Meaningful Coincidence.
More often than not, the things we detest and judge in others are reflections of the baggage we cannot accept about ourselves.
The criterion we use to assess ourselves is the criterion we use to judge society. The same criterion we use to judge others is most likely the same criterion others use to judge us.
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves, a self-awareness. What we see in others is most often what we see in ourselves, and what irritates us in others may be what we don’t like in ourselves.
There are many reasons why we judge. Growing up and receiving a great deal of criticism, mockery, and beratement from others causes people to become judgmental people themselves. Kids learn to mimic what they hear, and that kind of social mimicry can carry on into adulthood.
Some people judge others to gloss over their own perceived flaws. Often, this happens due to a sense of self-loathing—whether current or in retrospect—and a lack of self-awareness.
Psychotherapist Noel McDermott tells us one reason we compare ourselves to others is low self-esteem.
“Some people may have developed a sense of low self-esteem from negative life experiences and carry more of a sense of failure and inappropriate responsibility for other people.”
Low self-esteem stunts our ability to show self-compassion and, in turn, prevents us from showing compassion for others. The more we judge others, the more we judge ourselves.
According to Noel, "thoughts and feelings are not facts." When we judge without knowing much about the person we are judging, this can be a problem. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Are you a good tree or a bad tree?
Becoming non-judgemental takes time and should be well thought out. You must stay conscious of your effort to combat judgementalism. You should listen to what other people say and see them for who they are. Be open-minded about new people. Don’t go on first impressions. Look for things you like about someone rather than something you don’t. There are many ways to fight our urge to judge. Do some research to find what works for you.
When being non-judgemental, you must acknowledge to yourself that the person you are engaging with may not be their authentic self; they may have something to hide, like a nefarious past.
Some people go out of their way to hide their true selves to avoid judgment. They may shield their faces with metaphorical masks. The mask provides an emotional and psychological facade that reveals only a fraction of their complex personalities.
The metaphorical masks people wear aren't insincere or malicious. Masks may serve as self-defense mechanisms, protecting individuals from judgment and rejection. I wear a mask daily to work. I’m an American living and working in London. British culture is incompatible with American culture; a mask deadens the impact of the clash of civilizations.
In summary, embracing non-judgmentalism is crucial for creating a more compassionate and harmonious society. By recognizing our own biases, working on personal growth, and challenging our preconceptions, we can develop greater empathy and understanding for others. Adopting a non-judgmental mindset requires consistent effort and mindfulness, but the rewards are immeasurable. As individuals, we can lead by example and inspire positive change in our communities.
Let us commit to cultivating non-judgementalism in our daily lives and work towards building a world that celebrates diversity, fosters genuine connections, and allows every person to thrive as their authentic self.
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